Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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