Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
