I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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