life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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