i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
