i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
