When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
