hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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