The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
whose ass print is on the piano?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
