Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
