I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
