dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
