After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
