This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
