"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
