"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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