PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
