I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
