can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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