let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
