I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
