Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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