Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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