Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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