And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize