office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
