I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The adults are the big ones right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize