I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
