Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize