I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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