Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
did i walk over a car last night?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
