he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
