Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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