I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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