so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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