I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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