Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
