Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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