idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
