Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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