Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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