this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
