I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
