Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize