Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
