If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
