it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
