in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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