let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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