So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
