So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
