I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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