I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
