I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
