Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
