I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
