We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
