whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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