Please, let me fuck your mom
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
