Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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